Self-Ashtualisation

   ‘OK… Wow… What has happened to me,’ the mental echo I will be hearing as I write this and long, long after the completion of this reflection is inevitable. I just have to accept it as well as the fact that whilst I am still me through and through, I have definitely evolved for better or worse, though hopefully the former – one is never the best judge of oneself indeed. The past two days have been both overwhelming and thrilling – more perhaps the latter than the former, for my horizons are once more expanded beyond my wildest beliefs. Yes, as the title of this post has suggested, I have made over fifty new writer and reader friends in just two days – friends with whom I’ve had stimulating virtual conversations on two of my favourite pastimes, reading and writing, of course.    Social networking was never my forte. I believe it is still not, however because openness to experiences is one of my strengths, why not embrace the opportunities to be more open indeed? It was with these

   Whenever I shared my life progress with her, a mentor, keenly interested in my growth, would often respond, ‘Your learning curve is huge.’ As a highly sensitive individual, I would often analyse and reanalyse the meaning of those words. What I have found over the years is that even now, my views on what they mean keep changing, depending on what’s happened in my life and how I’ve responded to those events. For instance, if I feel down in the dumps when something, for want of a better word, bad happens, I would perceive ‘your learning curve is huge’ as extremely patronising and condescending, the way a cocky adult might say, ‘Grow up and buck up, kiddo,’ or ‘You’re still young and inexperienced. You know nothing,’ to a child or a younger adult. Occasionally, I would even regard the sentencing sentence (yes, me and my daft pun again) as a backhanded compliment, something along the lines of, 'Ooh! You've learnt an unbelievable lot for your age, haven't you?' When some

   Self-help books, We have all heard of those mysterious entities, haven’t we? Some of us find them absolutely inspirational whilst others, total tosh. The question I am asking in this post, as the title has highlighted, is, ‘If they were human beings, would they be genuine or toxic friends to me?’    I have decided to use the friend analogy because to me, reading a self-help book is like getting to know a stranger. I don’t trust them right away, but I’ll be openhearted so that I can get to know them. Cultivating friendships takes time – at least for an introverted person who values deep and genuine relationships like me – and so does digesting the content of self-help books. As I read and after I’ve finished reading a self-help book, I’ll reflect on these questions, because I need to and because being a highly sensitive person and consequently reader, my mind can’t help doing so: ·        Is it trying to empower or overpower me? ·        Is it judgemental or accepting of me?