‘Childcrash: or How to Get on with a Grown-up without Your Own Company' - a Poem
Listen. Don’t interrupt but let him interrupt.
Pretend it’s normal, not hurtful, when he speaks over you only to repeat himself.
But if you can’t pretend that your heart is not in pain,
Two options remain:
You can either feel that protruding scar but pretend it’s no bother
When he blesses himself, tells himself you’ll forget and goes on to forget.
Nothing. No one understands. Never him. That’s what you get.
The other option is to take action
Speak up, ask why he makes you feel unheard, and how, why and where in the world is that called love?
In which case he’ll say,
‘Darling, stop wearing those radioactive kid gloves. They make you feel unloved.
It’s normal. Not me. I’m normal.’
Expect his answers to your questions to be empty monosyllables
Or better, don’t ask any because apparently
He doesn’t have a split split second, we repeat, a split split second
To spare,
Evidently too busy occupying himself with despair, worn chairs, and pairs and pairs
Of shoe-shaped mares,
Imaginary,
Mounted on his back
Minute minute by minute minute
Which is why,
He has no time to answer
Even to give you that ssingle, non-cancerous answer.
The world doesn’t stop when you’ve got your crescent-shaped, burn-caked curiosity chopped off.
He’ll laugh, sociably crawling ever higher, calling you antisocial.
He’ll tell you to get more friends
He’s done nothing, all your profound shyness belongs to you – all the, or rather his, play-pretends.
Plucking those friends from an overgrown garden he randomly visits
He stuffs friend after friend
Into your full mouth
Ignoring your lungs’ painful protests
Telling you that those friends
Are healthy vegetables, indispensable
Good for your social health
And that he’s doing this – raising his voice to talk over your screaming, flooded eyes – for your own good.
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