Self-Ashtualisation

Listen. Don’t interrupt but let him interrupt. Pretend it’s normal, not hurtful, when he speaks over you only to repeat himself. But if you can’t pretend that your heart is not in pain, Two options remain: You can either feel that protruding scar but pretend it’s no bother When he blesses himself, tells himself you’ll forget and goes on to forget. Nothing. No one understands. Never him. That’s what you get. The other option is to take action Speak up, ask why he makes you feel unheard, and how, why and where in the world is that called love? In which case he’ll say, ‘Darling, stop wearing those radioactive kid gloves. They make you feel unloved. It’s normal. Not me. I’m normal.’   Expect his answers to your questions to be empty monosyllables Or better, don’t ask any because apparently He doesn’t have a split split second, we repeat, a split split second To spare, Evidently too busy occupying himself with despair, worn chairs, and pairs and pairs

   It remains in a sense a mystery to me why some people believe that tearing someone down is a way to build them up. From my limited ability to see things from those individuals' perspectives, they believe that when they criticise someone, it will get through their defences, making them change as a means of retaliating. If that is an accurate and fair assessment - I think it is because some of them admit to having such an intention - doesn't the need for change they have, to their minds, successfully fostered stem from anger, rage and even vengeance? Won't those negative feelings they have cultivated damage one's sense of self? Why do they expect 'You are useless. I don't believe in you,' to be taken as motivational, supportive words, when they could have said the opposite, thereby being truthful?    My decision to prove my teachers wrong at primary school still haunted me, dragging me down at my lowest moments. Apparently in order to encourage me to do be

To be a-mused by a muse Is no laughing matter As the aspiring-respiring-perspiring writer Is charged with the muse-ic, electric shock of dismissal When the muse gives up on its charge Or the writing/the charged decides to unplug herself From that guardian-angelic muse’s Delightful-painful Jolting electric slaps   But to be un-a-mused by a muse Is similarly grating, jarring ‘Electric shocks on your teeth’ sort of jarring Especially when the beginning novelist Plans to submit to the convulsive therapy Executed by the muse-turned psychiatrist Whose medication aims To make the writer spit the truth, Coat the spat truth on her fingertips And teleport it onto the doc-prescribed Word doc. .

  1)     Authenticity – To continue staying true. 2)     Bravery – To speak out against injustice and to say what I want to say through art. 3)     Creativity – To self-actualise; to spread love and beauty; to heal. 4)     Dreaminess – To appreciate the wonders of the world and experience the power of dreams. 5)     Empathy – To listen without judgements to others perspectives and to my own needs, cultivating understanding and acceptance in the process. 6)     Faith – In my abilities, positivity and the universe. 7)     Gratitude – For all the beautiful things and people I am blessed with. 8)     Honesty – To myself and others for genuine relationships. 9)     Introspection – For self-awareness, self-discovery, learning and growth. 10) Joy – Because true happiness matters and some things deserve to be celebrated. 11) Knowledge – For lifelong learning and to continue expanding my limitless horizons. 12) Love – To learn to love and be loved unconditionally.